Mentors? Yeah right!
by blue alien
Summary: When the Ringwraiths become mentors for the Fellowship, craziness ensues! Is anybody a good role model? Chap 4 is finally up! R&R!
1. Dunno what to call this chapter

Disclaimer: All of the characters are Tolkien's. The rest of the story would be mine except I am broke. BOO-HOO!  
  
One random day in Rivendell, Sauron and Elrond were talking.  
  
"You know, it would be nice to keep the old Fellowship together. They were such a well-working group, and they never really see each other any more. But every time they get together, they cause a disaster. I guess the old charm is gone," said Elrond mistily (don't ask)  
  
"It's been the same with my Ringwraiths. They bring about chaos everywhere. And its not like they're trying to be evil, its just that they don't have anything to do. They need some new friends. Maybe our two 'Fellowships' should get together," answered Sauron, sounding unusually smart. (He must be drunk!)  
  
"That's it! I'm such a genius!!!!! A 'Big Brother' program! Whoopee! Go me! Yehaaa! The first good idea I've had in years!!!" screams Elrond as he starts doing a victory dance.  
  
"Actually, it was MY brilliant idea" stated Sauron.  
  
"CENSORED. CENSORED. CENSORED. CENSORED. CENSORED. CENSORED. CENSORED. CENSORED" shrieked Elrond.  
  
"Well, I better be going. Since SOMEBODY chooses to be a crybaby, I guess I can take ALL the credit for this WONDERFUL idea" said Sauron loudly.  
  
"Fine then, you CENSORED CENSORED, I guess we will have to work together!"  
  
Sauron reassured the other elves around them, "Everything is fine, Elrond is just getting a little older, a little wiser *cough cough*, and a little more prone to using profanity. By tomorrow, he should be as good as new *cough cough*"  
  
A.N. (Author's Note) : Please don't ask why Sauron is suddenly so smart, because I am not really sure. Hey, somebody has to be the wise leader now that Elrond is cracking!  
  
The next morning, Elrond awoke in a comfortable bed, with silky sheets. The birds were chirping, the bees were buzzing, and Elrond was at peace with the world. All his mistakes and his triumphs from yesterday were gone, and he was awash in freedom. A new day had begun. Outside of his window, a small, gentle waterfall flowed, and the fish were jumping gaily.......  
  
"Okay, okay, cut the crap" stated Sauron harshly as he strode into Elrond's room, "We have to set up our new program. REMEMBER! Or does memory loss come along with 'getting a little older'?"  
  
"Oh shut up. Those happy little fairy things that flutter around and whisper pleasant stuff in you ear are gonna be pissed. They didn't even get a chance to do their job. SOMEBODY walked in and ruined my morning routine. *cough cough*" countered Elrond.  
  
"So anyways, my Ringwraiths have agreed to be the 'Big Brothers' for your Fellowship. Have you communicated with your group yet?" asked Sauron imperiously.  
  
"As a matter of fact, the messengers left early this morning. Probably before you were even awake" said Elrond  
  
"Actually Elrond, evil or formerly-evil ruler don't sleep. They have too much important business to attend to"  
  
"Oh..............." trailed off Elrond.  
  
"MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!" screamed Sauron gleefully.  
  
An elven messenger dashed into the room, out of breath.  
  
"My liege, lord Sauron, Aragorn has agreed. *gasp* You might wish to know that*gasp* he went back to being a ranger about 10 years ago. Legolas tired of*gasp* Mirkwood, and joined Aragorn 5 years ago. Legolas too will participate" said the messenger between breaths.  
  
"For god's sake, do you have asthma?" asked Elrond impatiently.  
  
Another elf stepped into the room.  
  
"Sirs, just to inform you, the entire Fellowship, including Legolas and Aragorn, were found in a rehab center after a bad situation with coffee. I believe you were the one to rescue them, Lord Elrond?" questioned the messenger uninterestedly.  
  
"Ah yes, I was wasn't I. What a pleasant surprise that they are all together. I guess that makes things much easier. So how are they all doing?" babbled Elrond.  
  
"Fine sir. The last spec of addiction has been cleaned from them all. They no longer have any attraction to coffee. Not even Gandalf."  
  
"That's wonderful. So what about this guy here?" asked Sauron, motioning to other messenger, who proceeded to faint.  
  
"Umm, very sorry he bothered you. Haldir has gone quite crazy" said the elf as he bowed himself out of the room.  
  
Elrond ran over to the unconscious elf, and proceeded to shake him.  
  
"What the hell?! I thought Haldir lived in Lothlorien?!" asked Sauron, who was clearly surprised.  
  
"Ah well, he obviously lost it. Can we include him in the 'mentor' program? He obviously needs it" pleaded Elrond.  
  
"I don't have enough Ringwraiths!"  
  
"AHA! I have a brilliant idea! YOU can be Haldir's Big Brother!" exclaimed Elrond happily.  
  
"FINE! But only to make an old elf happy" grumbled Sauron  
  
Elrond deliberated over whether he had just been insulted, or was Sauron doing him a favor, when yet another elf stepped into the room.  
  
"All 9 of the Fellowship have agreed to having a Big Brother. The matches will be made within a week" stated the elf.  
  
Dun dun dun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Next chapter, we will meet the Ringwraiths, and then the two groups will be paired up!  
  
I hope you like!  
  
PLEEZ R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Evil Clouds and other nonsense

Disclaimer: itz not mine!!!!!!!!!!! Except for the plot. I think?!  
  
We will start off with the ringwraiths.....  
  
Another boring day in Mordor, and for some weird tutoring setup meeting, Sauron is off in Rivendell.  
  
"So what is this about us tutoring the Fellowship?" asked RW 1  
  
A~N:::the Witchking is Ringwraith 9, and RW stands for Ringwraith  
  
"Lord knows" answered RW 2 drily.  
  
"Then I must be your lord" said RW 9 as he strode into the room imperiously.  
  
"Dude, I coulda sworn you were the Witch king. Dude, did you like, change your name to lord? That's like, gnarly dude" said RW 3  
  
"Oh shut up, witch-boy's just boss's favorite, nothing more. He is DEFINITELY not our lord!" exclaimed RW 1  
  
"You guys are hopeless!" said RW 4  
  
yet another ringwraith rushed into the room  
  
"Hey guys, I just heard the ringwraith's 5, 6, and 8 died!" cried RW 7 as he entered the room  
  
"sweet!" cried RW 3.  
  
"you idiot! How are we going to do the mentor program for the Fellowship if 3 of us are dead!?!?!" said RW 2 loudly  
  
"Hey, I thought ringwraiths couldn't die!?" asked RW 2  
  
"they can now" said RW 9, "but we better get working on this mentor program. I don't know what we're supposed to do with a bunch of hobbits and elves and mean and dwarves"  
  
"we'll each only have 1 of them, DUH!" yelled RW 4  
  
"dude, aren't some of us dead now. Gnarly" said RW 3  
  
"1st of all, stop ending every sentence with gnarly!!!! That is driving me insane!!! But 4 has a point, some of us will have to double up" announced RW 9.  
  
Soon, everone was screaming and yelling, and no one knew what anybody else was saying.  
  
"EVERYBODY SHUT UP NOW!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE TO GET THIS MENTOR PROGRAM TOGETHER! WE ALL HAVE TO BE IN RIVENDELL IN 3 HOURS! SO GET CRACKING!" screamed RW 9 at the top of his lungs.  
  
Everyone started bustling around and packing their suitcases, and 1 hour later they were ready to go.  
  
"allright everyone, we want to set a good example, because Sauron is depending us, and because I don't want us to all make fools of ourselves! I heard of an invention called the evil cloud. It is big and black, and it is willing to give us a lift. None of you insult the evil cloud, or else we will all be dead! Lets go! The Evil Cloud is waiting!" said RW 9 when everyone was packed  
  
"I have a few words to say," said RW 4, and everyone shut up and listened to him. "I would like to let you all know that clouds have feelings too you know, and we all need to respect that! Just like mosquitoes and lady bugs! Especially ladybugs! No one ever respects the poor little ladybugs, but really they are good, kind little creatures that never meant to hurt anybody, so I think that everybody should be nicer from now on to the lady.."  
  
suddenly the rest of them cut him off, and everyone threw tomatoes at RW 4. Then RW 9 gave everyone an evil glare and they all marched off in silence to the evil cloud.  
  
As usual in Mordor, the skies were dark and cloudy. Everyone was silent as they single file stepped onto the evil cloud, which was hovering just outside of the tall black tower where the ringwraiths usually live. The evil cloud was a dark, dark shade of gray, almost black, and was very large, soft, and fluffy. The evil cloud said nothing, yet all of the ringwraiths were filled with a dark sense of foreboding as they climbed onto the evil cloud. They expected it to be very cruel and ruthless, and only RW 9 seemed confident  
  
"don't worry, guys. Evil Cloud may seem evil but really she is quite.....well, I'll let you find out for yourselves" said the witchking mysteriously as they were boarding.  
  
"Oh great, this is really gonna suck" complained RW 1 lamely as they seated themselves on the evil cloud.  
  
"Yeah, I can only hope that we get to rivendell alive" replied RW 2.  
  
I get the feeling this chapter is going to get really long boring, so I will speed up the evil cloud journey......  
  
When all the RWs were seated, the dark cloud flew high into the sky and zoomed away. But, by the time they were way way high, and no one could see anything but clouds, changes started occurring. the evil cloud got a lighter shade of gray, and then miraculously turned pink!  
  
Lollipops popped in the RWs hands out of no where, and RW 4 even a dozen or so ladybugs perched on his arms and shoulders.  
  
At first, the RWs were pleased. A little bit of happiness is good everbody, right?! But, when the fairies jumped out of nowhere and started singing (as an example: stay on the sunny side/always on the sunnyside/stay on the sunnyside of life/it will help relieve the pain/it will brighten all your days/if you stay on the sunnyside of life!!!!!) happy songs, the rainbows started popping up everwhere, and cupcakes with pink icing appeared in everyone's hands it got to be a little too much. Except, of course, for 4, who was in his own little world of ladybugs.  
  
Then, chaos took control. The ringwraiths went crazy, all of the peace and happiness of the evil cloud was driving them insane, their evil brains couldn't stand the pressure.  
  
The Witchking was the only one to remain calm, and (don't ask me how) he talked to Evil Cloud.  
  
"Maybe you should tone down a bit" suggested RW 9, panic stricken that Evil Cloud would get angry and kick them off.  
  
"Never! This is the way my transportation is, and I'm not going to change that! But we are approaching a good windstream, and we're fairly close to Rivendell. I don't know if that helps, though. But please do your best to quiet them, I need to concentrate" whispered Evil Cloud to the Witchking  
  
"AHA! I have an idea!", and with that Witchking snapped his fingers, and suddenly all 6 ringwraiths had strange packs on their backs, with odd pulltabs.  
  
There was complete silence, and the Witchking addressed the RWs.  
  
"Listen, you are all obviously having trouble behaving for Evil Cloud, so we will have to find our own means of transportation. I have provided you all with parachutes. Now, do exactly as I say. We will all stand on the edge of Evil Cloud, and when I give the word we jump. As we are falling, I will whistle loudly, and when I whistle you will all yank your pull tab. But we must all jump and pull our parachute tabs TOGETHER!!!!!"  
  
Everyone nodded solemnly, and they assembled themselves on the edge of Evil Cloud.  
  
"When I give the word!...1..2..3..JUMP!!!!" yelled the Witchking, and the 6 ringwraiths jumped.  
  
After about 10 seconds, Witchking whistled loudly, and everyone pulled their parachute tabs. Unfortunately, a ladybug landed on RW 4's arm just as Witchking gave the signal to release your parachute.  
  
"Hello friend. How has the great wide world been treating you? Good, I hope, because if not then....." 4 trailed off, as RW 3 pulled the parachute tab for him.  
  
"Dude, you gotta stop talkin' to those little red things. It like, totally messes stuff up. I mean, sure maybe you think little red bugs are gnarly, but you're gonna get yourself killed. Dude" said RW 3, midair, after saving RW 4.  
  
Meanwhile, the Fellowship had gathered in Rivendell, and everyone was out on the patio with Elrond, Haldir, and Sauron.  
  
"They are late. I thought you said your servants are always PROMPT, Sauron. I have a city to run, meetings to attend to, I cannot wait here all day! So how are they getting here, anyhow?" said Elrond nervously  
  
"Ummmm...you mean transportation? Well, they decided that the most reliable form of getting around is by...ummmm..cloud" answered Sauron uncertainly  
  
"CLOUD! FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! THIS IS IMPORTANT, SAURON! I CAN'T HAVE IMPORTANT PEOPLE THAT ARE MEMBERS OF IMPORTANT PROGRAMS FLYING IN ON PINK BALLS OF FLUFF!"  
  
"Well actually, this is an EVIL Cloud" muttered Sauron.  
  
"OH GREAT, SO NOW IT BREATHES FLAMES! GREAT IMPROVEMENT THERE!" Elrond continued to scream  
  
Suddenly, Haldir interrupted their heated argument.  
  
"Ummm, guys, look over there. What is that?" asked Haldir tentatively.  
  
Everyone turned to see......  
  
"What in Middle Earth is that? Sauron, that's no pink fluffy cottonball I see descending from the sky!!!" exclaimed Elrond  
  
dun dun dun!............  
  
they never got to meet the Fellowship, but oh well, if it was any longer then...I don't know, but I don't want to make it any longer!!!!  
  
NEXT chap, they will finally meet eachother, and be paired off.  
  
Hope you enjoyed!!!  
  
R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Arrival to Rivendell

Disclaimer::: I only own the parachutes. Actually, I don't even know what a parachute looks like. Oh nevermind, the point is LOTR belongs to me! *crazy old man runs at me with a gun* okay, now it all belongs to tolkien *crazy old man with gun turns around and runs back to his study and continues to write really coolio books!* *I kno Tolkiens dead but oh well*  
  
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Everyone landed safely, even RW 4's ladybug friends.  
  
The 6 ringwraiths gathered themselves together and straggled to Rivendell's main gate. The only one still in good spirits was the Witchking.  
  
"Don't worry boys, I hear that Elrond's visitors are always pampered. Down mattresses, all the food and wine you can eat/drink, and lots of hott elf babes" said the Witchking in attempt to raise their spirits. Everyone perked up amazingly, and soon they were all chatting over potatoes or steak, blondes or brunettes, blue sheets or green.  
  
After about 15 minutes, they arrived at the main gate, and the Witchking banged sharply on the door.  
  
Suudenly, the gates flew open and a short, wrinkly, spunky old man burst out.  
  
"I NEVER THOUGHT THERE WOULD COME A DAY WHEN I WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE TO WELCOME SUCH PATHETIC....UMMMMMM.....RINGWRAITHS INTO MY CITY!!!!!!!!!!! 7 HOURS LATE, MY FELLOWSHIP IS SICK OF WAITING FOR YOU! AND I ONLY COUNT 6! THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE 9!!!! DON'T TELL ME SOME OF YOU WANTED TO STAY HOME AND NAP!!!!!!!!!!" screamed the old man at the top of his lungs. He had surprisingly large lungs, capable of a surprisingly loud scream, and everyone stared in shocked silence.  
  
"So much for elven babes" mumbled RW 2 to RW 1  
  
"That nap isn't sounding so bad now" replied RW 1  
  
"DON'T WHISPER!!! I HAVE GOOD HEARING, AND NO, THERE WON'T BE ANY ELVEN 'BABES', AS YOU CALL THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now shut up, all of you, and come in. By the way, my name is Elrond"  
  
The Ringwraiths, considerably humbled, followed Elrond into the fair city of Rivendell.  
  
A/N::: my Elrond looks nothing like in the movie. My Elrond is short and wiry, like Ghandi, and is very wrinkled, but is seemingly ageless. He has never ceasing energy, and he is extremely energetic. Back to the story!!!!!!!!!  
  
The ringwraiths, bewildered by the wrath of Elrond, followed him meekly. They wandered through a maze of a city, and all the elves on the streets stopped and stared at them as they walked by.  
  
Now, you may think that ringwraiths are very strong, and good travelers. Actually, they were. But when Sauron provided them with flying steeds, they became increasingly lazy. The only one in good physical was RW 3, thanks to many hours spent surfing on weekends.  
  
And like I said, Elrond is extremely energetic, and he walked very quickly. The further they went, the faster he walked. Soon all of the ringwraiths were panting and sweaty.  
  
"For God's sake, you creatures are a horrible mess. No stamina, no motivation. Ah well, we are almost there. When we arrive there will be a supper prepared. No great feast, that won't come until after the matches have been made. You will have to get acquainted with my Fellowship, and Sauron will want a word will you. Off we go!" announced Elrond shrilly, as he turned a corner and hurried off again.  
  
"I can't go on much longer, and neither can Miss Patty, or Miss Pam, or Miss Laila, or Miss Rita, or Mr. and Mrs. Kelly and Emily" panted RW 4.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Kelly and Emily? Lesbian ladybugs? That's a new one" said RW 1 sarcastically.  
  
"Hey! Just because they made a different choice than you doesn't mean that you can make fun of them!" RW 4 shot back angrily.  
  
"How do you know that I made a different choice!" cried RW 1, as he blushed.  
  
Everyone else gasped, even Elrond.  
  
"Oh great, that screws things up. We can't have a gay ringwraith mentor a member of the Fellowship, especially since they're all male" said Elrond, "Oh well, no time now, get going boys" announced Elrond as he popped his head back around the corner.  
  
Breathing heavily(except for RW 3) everyone got up and followed after Elrond. After about 5 minutes, Elrond stopped in front of a large house, and opened the gate for the ringwraiths.  
  
"Welcome, my friends, to the main court of Rivendell"  
  
The ringwraiths looked around in amazement, as they had heard a lot about the main stronghold of the elves.  
  
The gate opened to a courtyard, with many trees. Some were shimmering green, yet many looked to be of gold or silver in the fading light. Except for the gate, the courtyard was surrounded by a large house, and lined by many doors. Rivendell was a place of peace and happiness, and locks and keys were not necessary.  
  
Elves as darting and silent as shadows stepped out from behind trees to take the coats and packs of the ringwraiths. This luggage they handed to other elves that came out from one of the doors.  
  
"Now I will permit you to enter the Last Homely House, and you should feel honored. This group of 6 is second only to their Master Sauron, to be let openly in the door, though you are from the realm of Mordor" spoke Elrond ceremoniously, and his voice cut through the dark and the silence like a knife.  
  
With that, the Ringwraiths headed towards one of the larger doors, which was held open by an elf.  
  
"MUA-HA-HA-HA!!! Now you shall feel the wrath of Elrond!!!!!" screamed Elrond rather unexpectedly. Everyone stared, just a little bit disturbed.  
  
As the ringwraiths entered the Last Homely House, the sound of a fiddle came to them. They walked down a long hallway, the music and other bustling noises growing steadily louder. Suddenly, they came into a large hallway, full, yet not too crowded, with countless elves, men, and one dwarf.  
  
The ringwraiths could only stare in shock at the merriment surrounding them. Behind them, Elrond gaped. Apparently, this was not welcome he had expected. He bustled away hurriedly.  
  
"Hallo there. My names Pippin, and this here is my friend Merry. Tis a pleasure to meet you" said a short, childish looking man jovially.  
  
"Pleasure...I'm charmed to acquaint with you...." muttered another of the short men.  
  
"Don't let Merry bother you, he's bloody drunk. I was just about to drag him off to the bathroom and splash a bit of water over his noggin. You see, he has discovered a wonderful thing. A pint!" said Pippin, as he raised a big glass full of ale, and with that he dragged his 'bloody drunk' friend off to the sink.  
  
"Well, we may as well enjoy ourselves, as there isn't much else to do" said the Witchking, eyeing a bar at the far end of the hall, "I think I'll go investigate that pint the little man with the English accent was talking about"  
  
Soon, the ringwraiths were dancing to fiddle, drinking, or talking to the large company that had gathered. Elvish babes were plentiful, contrary to Elrond's words. At about 10 o'clock, everything seemed to quiet down a bit, and those not residents of the Last Homely House dispersed to their homes elsewhere in the city. The time for singing and storytelling began.  
  
So this is how the ringwraiths spent the beginning of their time in Rivendell. And already, they had somehow changed.  
  
After a few hours of quieter, sleepier merriment, everyone headed off to their own rooms. Elrond was nowhere to be found. RW 2 called his name loudly, but still no Elrond. But seemingly responding to the call, 6 elves stepped once more from the shadows, and led each ringwraith to his room.  
  
But, each RW found a note in calligraphy so perfect you would be infuriated taped to their door. The note said:  
  
Listen up, boys. I meant to show you the cold shoulder, so you could see that Rivendell isn't all fun & games, and so that maybe you would understand the importance of punctuality, and impressions. It is not a good first impression for me to see the RW's, supposedly "hard core" and reliable showing up 7 hours late, and parachuting from a pink fluffy cloud. Plus, three of you aren't even here!!!!!!!! You will pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course, I cannot hurt you until after you have mentored the Fellowship. So, if you guys do a good job, and make a better impression on them than on me, then you will not be punished.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Elrond  
  
It was a deep sleep that they had that night, and the beginning of a time in their lives that they would remember forever. Hmmm....how will they remember this time of their lives? And was the sleep deep due to contentment, or too many swigs of tequila???  
  
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I'm sorry that wasn't very humorful, but I had to have at least one mushy chapter full of peace, happiness, and ale!!!  
  
Sorry its taken me soooooooo long to write this but oh well cuz its here now!!!  
  
R&R, PLEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I BEG YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
REIVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	4. The Matches are Finally Made!

Disclaimer: It's not mine! So leave me alone!  
  
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WAKE UP YOU BLOODY IMBECILES! WE HAVE WORK TO DO! Elrond screamed into a megaphone. All the ringwraiths skyrocketed out of their beds, dressed at the speed of light and raced down to the courtyard.  
  
"Did you brush your teeth, boys?" asked Sauron sweetly.  
  
"Nooooo"  
  
"Then do it! Stat!" he yelled  
  
More speed of light movement, soon everyone was assembled back down in the courtyard. "The Fellowship needs their sleep, so they will be down in a little while. But in the mean time, I have the matches for the tutoring. Here they are: RW 1: Sam, RW 2: Aragorn, RW 3: Legolas, RW 4: Merry, RW 5: Pippin, RW 6: Frodo, RW 7: Boromir, RW 8: Gimli, RW 9: Gandalf"  
  
A torrent of complaints burst from the Ringwraiths. But the loudest one was that 5, 6 and 8 were dead and gone. What to do with Pippin, Frodo, and Gimli?  
  
"Calm down, everybody. We'll just have to double up. Let's do this. Pippin will go with Merry, Frodo will go with Gandalf and Gimli will go with Aragorn" said Elrond  
  
The Fellowship walked into the room, and looked at the big piece of paper with all the matches on them. Soon everyone was trying to get acquainted w/their match.  
  
"Hello Ringwraith 1, my name is Sam," said ....you guessed it...Sam.  
  
"Ringwraith 1? What on earth are you talking about! I am the WITCHKING!!!!!!" roared the Witchking (RW 9), and everyone in the room shut up.  
  
Elrond realized his mistake, so he handed all of the RW's pens and paper. "Write your number on the paper, and it will be your nametag" said Elrond.  
  
The Witchking, and RWs 1, 2, and 7 fared well with the pens and paper but 3 and 4 had some troubles with....writing.  
  
"Hey, does that look like a 4 to you, Miss Patty?" RW 4 asked his ladybug.  
  
"I'll say that look's like a .....uh.........a ladybug. You idiot, can you even write? Here!" grumbled RW 2 as he scribbled out 4 on the other RW's paper.  
  
Witchking was doing the same for RW 3. "Here you go, and you're welcome!".  
  
"I think you spelled it wrong, Witchking dude" complained RW 3.  
  
"spelled? SPELLED????????? It's a bloody number, you can't spell a number wrong!!!!!!!" yelled the Witchking, and yet again everybody shut up.  
  
"Well, anyways, I hope that you all can find your assigned Ringwraith now" said Elrond to the Fellowship.  
  
The Fellowship finally assorted themselves with the Ringwraith's, but before anyone could say anything the Witchking was yelling again. "I would just like to clear this up. Elrond said find YOUR assigned Ringwraith, but we are not YOURS! We are independent and FREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I am the most powerful Ringwraith, the WitchKING, see my crown!" he yelled as he gestured wildly at his head.  
  
"We all see the crown, don't worry" reassured Elrond.  
  
"Okay" mumbled the Witchking.  
  
All the groups split up, but the Witchking, Gandalf and Frodo remained in the room.  
  
"I don't see the crown" said Frodo quietly.  
  
"Frodo, shut up!!!!"  
  
"What?!?!?!" asked the Witchking  
  
"There is no crown on your head" said Frodo again  
  
The Witchking turned genially to Gandalf. "Amazing, isn't it, how your little savior of Middle Earth is BLIND!"  
  
"Am not! I'll prove it!" cried Frodo, and he dragged the Witchking off around Rivendell in search of a mirror, to prove the lack of a crown  
  
"Why did I even bother agreeing to this....?" mumbled Gandalf as he hurried after them  
  
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"I think I'll just let you know right now that I think this is a stupid idea, and I have no interest in being here. So don't try to get friendly" said Ringwraith 2.  
  
"Sure. All I want is for Arwen to marry me. Elrond makes it seem like if she marries me, then we both become mortal and eventually die. But its sooooo obvious! There's this secret way of the elves, and they can make you immortal if they want to. So all Elrond has to do is make me immortal, and then I can marry Arwen and cross the seas with the Elves.  
Who cares about Gondor anyway, I wouldn't worry about it if I left Faramir in charge?!" said Aragorn  
  
"Well I like mithril" said Gimli  
  
"I just poured out my life's problems and that's all you can say?" said Aragorn  
  
"You could become a wraith" suggested RW 2.  
  
"What? ME? I'm a bloody dwarf, for Varda's sake, it's the MEN that become wraiths. DUUUUHHHHHH!!!!!!" exploded Gimli  
  
Ringwraith 2 backed into a corner and tried to look small (thusly a smaller target). "Sorry, I was actually referring to Aragorn" he squeaked.  
  
"That's okay, I am forgiving. Sometimes. Do you have any mithril?"  
  
"Umm......yah, one second" squeaked RW 2 again, as he scuttled off to his room with a plan....to lock the door.  
  
"Quick, follow him! He's supposed to be our mentor!" cried Aragorn.  
  
The dwarf and Aragorn set off in chase of the frightened Ringwraith. Gimli thought "All we need is Legolas and some Rohan riders....."  
  
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Well, I know it was really short but I still hope you enjoyed it.  
  
Review, review, review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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